dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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