Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Couch. On fire.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
