a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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