I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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