HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think my moral compass just broke
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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