he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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