brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
