We're facebook friends in real life
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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