why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you inspire me to be a worse person
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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