Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
