I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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