new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
