Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
