I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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