Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We were destined to go to rehab together
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
