either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
