problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
