it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize