Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
