Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Damn victory sex feels great
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
