it wasn't lemon gatorade
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
