He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
