There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
