I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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