He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
