Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
