My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
