So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
