PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
