Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
