But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
