Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
