Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
