so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
