she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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