I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
it was like having sex with a tree stump
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
