Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You've changed since you got that strap on
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