You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
