she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
