lets start a swedish sibling band together
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
