i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
