I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
