she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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