If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
