she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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