great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
