Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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