What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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