let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
