I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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