the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
