She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
