good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
